A Man’s World #11: What Young Men Are Really Feeling (But Never Say Out Loud)

If I am way off the mark here, please let me know. When I am out in public I am extremely observant. I seek to pay attention to all things going on around me. If I am in the coffee shop, I observe. Not the Deuce Bigalow coffee shop, I don't take part in eating space cake. If I am at an event, I observe. If I am at a restaurant, I observe. If I am watching the news or a program, I observe. What I have come to see is that everywhere I look young men are struggling. Many people will not say that or talk about or will tell you that you are crazy.

I was at a family gathering last week and I was talking to one of my wife's cousins. He was telling me how he feels so alone and can't get ahead. He works an honest job in asset management and is a recent college graduate. He told me it's so hard for him right now because he cannot afford to rent an apartment on his own and has to live with his parents. Saving money is cool and all but he made a great point. He said living at home doesn't allow him to be his full self and to meet new potential mates. It's true. And it's sad. I could tell he was broken. I know exactly how he feels. I know you do too. When I graduated college in 2017 I couldn't afford to live on my own and had to live with my parents too. We live in a world where this is trying to be normalized. It's not normal, far from it.

One of my closest friends is really struggling. He works an honest job as a physical therapist, is 30 years old, and lives in Cambridge with two other roommates. He lives in this ruggamuff apartment that is from 1950 and is literally like going back to 1950. The rent is $4,000 before utilities! That is roughly $1,300 per person to rent a ROOM in an apartment. I asked my parents what the cost was when they got their first apartment when I was born in 1995. In 1995 they had a 1 bedroom apartment in Lawrence for $350 per month WITH utilities! He is looking to get a second job because he can't afford his student loans, rent, and regular living expenses. That is just not okay. It's sad. I know others feel this too.

On top of all this, young men get confusing messages. And conflicting messages. Don't say this, don't say that. You can't say this, you can't say that. You watch sports, drink beer, and like hot dogs .... you must be an extreme conservative. You like to have fun and joke around and bring humor into the world .... you must be insensitive and any phobic you can think of. This is what I have heard personally, and what I have seen family and friends go through. It is not okay and I want to use this platform to connect others that are experiencing the same thing.

Be well, stay young.

-The Unmodified Opinion